Danny V’s Blog: The Naughty Word Generator

Have you ever had one of those weeks that nothing seems to go right? Something goes wrong with every chore you’ve begun and you just can’t seem to fire on all cylinders. I’m a husband and a dad so, of course, I have those weeks, too.

On a week I was already emotionally fragile after burning a meatloaf and forgetting a school project I had to bring my "A" game to the arena of fatherhood. Last week, it was not to be.

My generator failed to start. It wasn’t because I needed it but everyone who owns one knows that you should start it up every month or two to let the gas continually cycle through and to make sure that it’s ready to go in case of emergency. After pulling on the cord furiously for a half hour (and introducing my daughter to a word that warranted a visit from mommy) I realized this 6250w beast was not going to fire up. I talk to a co-worker who knows a lot about small engines and he suggested that it’s just cold and needs to be warmed up. Solid advice. Besides, I'm dutch and didn't have a coupon to a repair shop. I unplugged some other cord to make room for the electric heater cord.

After an hour the engine fluids and block were warming up. Look, honey! Saving money already!

After a few hours of letting it warm up and yanking on that stubborn pull-cord, it still didn’t start. I turned the heater off and set a reminder in my phone to bring it in for service, coupon or no coupon.

However, remember that plug I took out of the garage outlet? Yeah, that was to the freezer. Four days later my wife opened the door to the freezer and realized it was lukewarm. The lovely aroma of spoiled meat, flimsy pizzas, and a pool of melted Rocky Road ice cream greeted us.

Chalk another one up for the husband-of-the-year. I'll be hearing about this for years.

• Wife: "Can you take out the garbage and feed the dogs?"
• Me: "Well, I'm kinda busy watching a baseball game right now."
• Wife: "Remember that time you ruined our food?"
• Me: "I'm on it, Punkin'."

Hopefully, a new month and the promise of spring will give me a little peace and I can hit the reset button and focus on a less forgetful week. Silver lining? There was no actual emergency where we needed the generator.

Life’s little victories.

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