"Why in tarnation are there so many fruit flies in our house?" The dinner conversation turned to the little pests known as fruit flies circling our sink. A few were on the ceiling and another was doing a Tom Cruise 'Maverick-style" fly-by on a nearby lamp.

We spotted a few a week ago and didn't think much about it. It's spring. Bugs are out. Big deal. But, if you let fruit flies alone it's very unlikely they will go away on their own. They multiply scary fast and the next thing you know, it's out of control.

Here's what I'm guessing the house is like after the lights go out for the night:

Fruit Fly 1: "Put on the Barry White playlist and your tiny togas because we're going to orgy like there's no tomorrow!"

Fruit Fly 2: "I'm on it. Cueing music in 3-2-1. Oh, and I'm adding Kory and the Fireflies for extra appeal. That should bring the females."

Fruit Fly 1: "Good call. Hey, we're not the kind of insect that get's their head eaten off after mating, are we?"

Fruit Fly 2: "No. That's a praying mantis. Poor bastards."

However it happens, they're a problem - but there are a few solutions:

1. The above pic is a fruit fly trapper that's available in most lawn and garden stores. I hit up Lewis Drug and found this for $6.99. The fruit flies enter the holes in the top lured in by the included sweet nectar.

Fruit Fly 1: "Hey, after the sexy party you wanna grab a bite to eat?"

Fruit Fly 2: Yeah, I heard there's a new hotel with a restaurant that opened up on the dresser of the girl's room." 

Fruit Fly 1: "Sweet! Nectar of the gods, man. We may never want to leave!"

And you won't you little winged demons. You see, Fruit Fly 1 and his buddy Fruit Fly 2 were found deceased floating on top of that nectar pool with about 20 of their orgy friends after last night's filthy debauchery.

Danny V_Townsquare Media

2. Another option is a small saucer of dish soap.

Also, try not to leave banana peels, other fruits, and even vegetables laying in the open. I should note that my daughter has guinea pigs which eat fruits and vegetables which may have been part of the problem - but we're on it.

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