Eight Crafty Ways to Get Out of a Speeding Ticket (Use at Your Own Risk)
We know too well the fear and panic that races through you when that cop behind you activates his or her light bar. It's time to pull over and face the music.
Your first thoughts are "What did I do this time?" and "How can I get out of a ticket?"
- Cry - It's the oldest trick in the book and deservedly #1 on our list. I consider myself an outdoorsy manly man, but if it'll get me out a ticket, I'll think of my late mee-maw and cry a river.
- Be honest - I know. It's not easy to admit you knew you were going too fast and really don't have any excuse, but depending on the generosity of the officer, this might be your best defense. If this doesn't work refer back to rule #1.
- The "I couldn't hold it" excuse - Have you ever thought that the reason you were going 75 in a 55 is that you had to pee, like really bad? Depending on how good of an actor or actress you are, you might pull it off. If it's true, no acting skills needed. It's up to you how far you're willing to go on this one.
- Pleading ignorance - The officer will ask, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Just a simple "no" will do. Chances are, the officer has already heard every excuse in the book. Besides, I found that pleading ignorance as a husband, at work, and kids selling stuff for their school at my door, is the best policy.
- Make 'em laugh - Laughter is the best medicine, and if you got a little humor you might charm the officer enough to let you off with a warning. If you consider yourself a not-so-funny person, you may want to skip this one. You could end up making the situation worse. Like Now-I've-got-a-drug-sniffing-german-shepard-in-my-car kind of worse.
- "I swear on my mother's grave my speedometer said..." - Can a speedometer be a few mph off? Of course, it can. But can you prove it? And, needless to say, this one should not be used if your mother has not passed yet. Bad karma.
- Orphans - That's right, you were going to pick up breakfast for an orphan bus that broke down, right? No one will mess with you if you've got a good orphan story.
- "I'm from out of town" - This actually is a viable excuse if you really are from out of town. Also, this might be a no-brainer, but make sure the address on your drivers license isn't two blocks away.