7 Wickedly Cynical Christmas Songs to not Warm Your Heart
It's Christmas music season again and my dark, bitter heart needs something other than the same-old soundtrack. I need something in line with my aging Generation X mindset. Music for us kids in the back of the class. Plus, I cannot stand most slow songs.
So, my quest led me to join forces with my old buddy YouTube. My friend didn't let me down, turns out there's a treasure trove of great, dark, cynical Christmas songs. And I want to share some with you.
This is the song that inspired this list. To me, it's a pure distillation of the commercialization and self-gratifying do-gooding that crops up this time of year.
"Father Christmas, give us some money...Give all the toys to the little rich boys"
Vintage Blink 182 rocks this jam about not being home for Christmas. Mostly because he's in jail for going after carolers with a bat.
You could easily mistake this song for a 'missing you this holiday' type of tune. Forlorn vocals, urgent but sad acrostic guitar. The lyrics tell a different tale. One that is all about encouraging someone to please stay away this Christmas.
What's that? You want to get even darker? OK, how about this tale of divorce, alcoholism and lives falling apart? All set to a lively rockabilly beat and bells.
Country/Folk singer John Prine sings about another Christmas behind bars.
The long history of the Blues is a fertile ground for non-traditional Christmas song. You could make several lists of the best Blues Christmas songs. But, the one I want to include here is from the late 1940s and has a nice traditional blues sound and a perfect yuletide attitude. "Oh Santa may have brought you some stars for your shoes But Santa only brought me the blues." It's just plain beautiful.