Dirty talk has become a kind of staple in the bedroom, with many couples reporting that talking dirty enhances the pleasure of their boudoir experiences. However, we all know that saying the wrong thing to your partner can take you out of the frying pan and into the fire. So how do you keep things hot, without accidentally making your sweetheart boil over?

Before you can even think about uttering a naughty phrase, it’s a good idea to get familiar with what your lover likes and is comfortable with. Discuss what words, phrases or descriptive activities are off limits between your lips and between the sheets. This way you aren’t stumbling awkwardly through a sentence that they clearly aren’t feeling.

Once you know a bit more about what they like and how they like it, great! You can get down to business.

It’s a good idea to start soft, regardless of what your experiences with dirty talk are and what your partner has said that they like. Even if they like to be called a dog and want to hear you talk about dipping them in maple syrup, getting too graphic too fast might make things uncomfortable for the both of you.

Make it gradual. Double entendre is a great way to get the dirty talk started. Make playful jokes outside of the bedroom, letting your lover get familiar with more explicit language. Then work your way up.

When you have all the gears greased, get descriptive! Give your partner a blow-by-blow account of your fantasies. Walk them through the experience, letting them know in no uncertain terms just what you want from them, and what they will get from you!

If you know your partner is into rougher language, now would be the time to introduce it. However, it is a good idea to be mindful of your tone and word choice. If you sound like you are reading a report for class, it could bring the mood down.

Likewise, if you are using words like ‘orifice’ or ‘tum-tum’ your partner might get confused or freaked out. Keep your language casual and interested, then get descriptive. Use juicy, bursting adjectives to convey your aching desire, the effect will be potent.

When dirty talk becomes comfortable, it is easy to slip into patterns. However much you might like hearing something, hearing it twenty times in a row can be boring. Make sure you aren’t being too repetitive, and switch things up. Variety is the spice of life, and it will spice up your bedroom!

On that same note, remember to talk about things your partner likes as well as the things you like, as long as it is something you are comfortable with. They will appreciate your inclusiveness and respond better physically and emotionally.

However, if the words or scenes they enjoy make you too uncomfortable, don’t feel pressured to say them. Instead, ask if there is something else you can say that you both enjoy.

It’s a good idea to remember that dirty talk is supposed to be fun, and mood enhancing not killing. So keep it light, go with the flow and have fun with it. You might be surprised by what can happen when you do!