I have been blessed in my life with some of the best friends a person could ever ask for. I have also had friends who broke my heart. We all have. My close friends, much like my family are always in my thoughts in some capacity. We tend to experience life differently, look at situations uniquely and live more richly because of them.

For me the true nature of friendship is trust, comfort, support and acceptance. The freedom to be myself in thought and deed, without fear of reprisal or reprimand, or loss of respect or love.

The precipitating incident for this ponderance of the true nature of friendship happened on a grocery shopping trip. Ben and I are big fans of food. That is no surprise, but I quite often look for things that I think will pique Ben's sense of culinary adventure, or satisfy his love of things crunchy and savory. I usually buy him flavored almonds, (he loves those) but this time I spied Jalapeno Spam peeking out from a shelf and that was what I bestowed on him. He and his wife Linda love the spicy little pepper and he puts it in just about everything he cooks!

As I put the can of Spam in my purse to take to work for him today, I thought, "Boy, only a true friend would buy you Jalapeno Spam and only a true friend would think it was a great gift!" This caused me to reminisce about the astounding acts of kindness my friends, (inlcuding Benji) have performed for me over the years and the deep gratitude and love that glows in my soul because of them.

My BFF, Georgie Opitz, has been there for me for over 36 years and although we seem to see each other infrequently now due to the evolving demands of jobs, time and life, I know if I need her she will be at my side. She has helped me bury parents, friends and pets. She has been my cat wrangler for every vacation I've ever taken, except the ones, she has joined me on. Her children became mine, my siblings hers and vice-versa.

My sisters (including BFF Georgie)
Photo by Patty Dee in a lavender field near Long Beach, WA
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The old adage which says, "you find out who your true friends are in times of trouble" has been a very true one for me. When the water heater exploded and the basement flooded in the house I was living in, shortly after my dad died, my home filled with friends I'll never be able to repay for what they did. Digging through tons of wet, molding muck to help me retrieve bits and pieces of my life and put things back together was a project I could not have faced without them.

During the aftermath of the horrendous ice storm we had several years ago, (when I had no electricity or heat for a week), Loren and Debbie McManus let me hang out, shower and warm up in their home every night and plied me with food and wine on top of that. Debbie once de-pooped my entire yard after a particularly snowy winter because- - she could. (Keep in mind, I have two giant German Shepherds who are good eaters!)

Sixteen years ago when I had back surgery, my sisters Carmela and Carolyn, Georgie,(our other "sister"), Ben ("Holy cow, they're going to filet you like a salmon!") and my wonderful Roxanne Keupp were there from beginning to end and still are.

This is not to say that friendships don't change or fade from time to time. Lives go in different directions and other connections are made through work and social life. I have wonderful memories of people who I was once very close to, but due to changing lives, habits, the turning of the planet, (who knows?) I have lost contact with them. I regret it, deeply mourn the loss, but accept it as part of life's journey and treasure every friend, old and new, who has added depth and meaning to my life, no matter when or for how long.

The number of stories and situations and friends who have cared, helped, enriched my existence and matter to me is a very long one. I promise not to name or list every last one of them, (even though I'd like to) so I'll now wrap up this meandering missive.

 

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