Violent States Of America

Next on the list is Oklahoma. Could it be any more obvious? New Mexico should be nervous. Tennessee is currently holding North Carolina hostage. Don’t laugh, Idaho. Rotate your state to the correct position and presto! It’s a killing machine. Flip Louisiana or New York upside down, big uh-oh. Holy bullets, Batman! If Maryland and Delaware join forces it could evolve into one of those military-style weapons that Senator Dianne Feinstein from California detests so much.The evidence is overwhelming people. Teachers in some locales are cowering in the corners over a gun made of paper. Others instructors get bent over a pop-tart nibbled in such a way in that it’s shaped like a firearm. Even Mayor Mike Bloomberg will tell you that sugar and revolvers don’t mix. Thus the next logical step is that anything resembling a firearm must be outlawed.

Speaking of the Golden State, maybe California could get annexed by Australia and get used as a boomerang because such a debt-ridden state could soon turn violent. New Hampshire and Vermont might not look bad now, but they had better watch themselves.   Same with Michigan if upper and lower peninsulas unite.  Minnesota’s arrowhead could be used as an ice pick. Nebraska and Utah get a pass unless meat cleavers get you shaking in your boots. Plus Massachusetts with that hook out in the Atlantic Ocean could be deadly if placed in the wrong hands.

The enemy is all around us and only a fool is too blind to see it. Now that April has arrived take the above advice given with a grain of salt. Oh, crap. Salt is deadly, too.