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Matt Varilek Attacked For Liking Corndogs, Beer [VIDEO]

Varilek Corn Dog Noem
rollenran/Flickr, Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images, Facebook

Before I start, let me just say that the never ending battle between Republicans and Democrats in modern politics is akin to Packers and Vikings fans exchanging dirty one-liner jokes back and forth. I care about issues, but I would rather watch every episode of ‘Jersey Shore’ and ‘Real Housewives’ before I’ll watch a political talk show. Also, before anyone gets mad that I wrote ‘Republican’ before ‘Democrat’ in the first sentence, or vice-versa, please know that I have no agenda nor do I back either candidate, nor do I care. I just find this video a hilarious fail at a political attack ad.

The South Dakota Republican Party posted a video on YouTube that is supposed to be an attack on Democratic House candidate Matt Varilek. It also attempts to paint Republican incumbent Kristi Noem as a down home South Dakota gal. It may do the latter, but the attempt to smear Varilek comes off like a parody ad worthy of Stephen Colbert.

The video cites Varilek’s educational resume which included studying abroad, primarily in environmental studies. It also notes his support of cap and trade environmental policies which Democrats seem to like and Republicans find yucky. It also says Kristi Noem is a farmer.

The crux of the whole video is a seriously delivered blow that reeks of sarcasm, but is sadly not sarcastic: the fact that Matt Varilek hosted a corn dog eating party on National Corn Dog Day where 1,000 corn dogs and 1,200 beers were served, along with shots of Jagermeister from an ice luge. The video also “accuses” him of pulling off a “triple double” at the event., which consists eating 10 corn dogs, 10 drinks (beer or soda is acceptable), and 100 tater tots. And Kristi Noem is a farmer.

Wow, SD GOP. That’s some serious venom. Maybe you could tattle on him for stealing quarters from his dad when he was ten to play video games. Or rat him out telling his mom he cleaned his room when he really stuffed all the junk under his bed and into the closet. Or nark on him for the time in high school when he came home ten minutes after curfew. The shame. Oh, and Kristi Noem is a farmer.

Something else is bugging me. Do Republicans drink beer? Lots do, most responsibly I would imagine. Do they eat corn dogs? Those that like them probably do. Do they drink shots of Jagermeister? Some likely do or have, especially in their younger single days. Did I mention Kristi Noem is a farmer?

To prove how stupid this video it is, I’ll turn it around on Noem. Did she go to college overseas? No, she just graduated from SDSU in May. Did she ever drink a beer, eat corn dog, go to a party and drink shots? Maybe, I don’t know if she’s a teetotaler who hates breaded wieners or not. But those are not reasons one should consider when voting. However, as a down home South Dakota farmer, if she never ate tater tot hotdish, that could swing the outcome of the election.

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