Lately I have been the victim of accidentally rude yet good gesture. When I have been sitting on the toilet in a public restroom the odds are about one in four that I will have the lights shut off on me.

It is a good thing to shut off the water while you brush your teeth, use a programmable thermostat for your heating and air conditioning, and shut off lights in rooms that aren't being used. I congratulate you on your conservation, whether it be for personal financial reasons or for global environmental responsibility. It is unquestionably wise to save money and resources.

But while you are doing the right thing I am forced to finish pooping in a pitch black room.

I am not suggesting that public restrooms should have lights on eternally to accommodate people with a "2" to do. That would be irresponsible. But I am suggesting that you look for feet under the stalls before you cut the lights.

The worst was the time when I was in a smart bathroom alone with motion sensors. I won't deny that I am capable of sitting on a toilet for 10-15 minutes. It's a relaxing break in the day. But I must have sat still for too long on this occasion because it shut off the lights on me. I guess I need to stomp my feet or rock side to side or something.

I thank you and applaud your efforts to conserve our natural resources. From now on, though, before you leave that public restroom and flip the lights off as you exit, I would implore you to stop and look around for feet under the stalls. That way you'll never hear me or anyone else ask "Is it okay if I poop with the lights on?"


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