Cap’n Crunch is a Liar

I thought we were closer than this. Me and the Cap'n have been together since I was a kid. And now I find out that he's NOT a captain?!?!

The designers for the Captain Crunch cereal are being criticized for incorrectly stating Captain Crunch's rank. He's not actually a Captain, but a Commander. There has been no official statement from the company.

Commander Crunch sounds more like a character in the next Avengers movie. What's next? Tony the Tiger is really a leopard? Toucan Sam was a parrot wearing a giant nose costume? My childhood cereal heroes are crumbling around me...