Mike Adams

Some of you may not believe this, but Mountain Dew was not intended to be consumed for breakfast – that is, until now.

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If while you were sitting at work a strange man walked up to you and handed you a magic wand that was said to hold magical powers that would allow you to abracadabra yourself from your current career to a new one of your choice would you do it?

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Chances are that no matter how charming of a ringtone you heard coming from a toilet seat, you wouldn’t stick your face against it to find out who was calling. The reason? It’s not supernatural – toilets are disgusting.

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We all want to stretch a dollar, but there’s one place in America that it’s getting harder and harder to do so.

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It appears as if the State Department wants to wash out the mouths of the American people with a proverbial bar of soup for being so insensitive to the offensive nature of popular phrases like “hold down the fort” and “rule of thumb.”

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All of us can appreciate the determination that goes into making sure we get what is coming to us, especially when that involves unused vacation and sick time.

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Taco Bell has been fighting in the fast food trenches for years, pimping out franchised fare using everything from smooth-talking chihuahuas, five buck boxes to the insanely popular chupacabra of tacos known as the Doritos Locos Tacos.

Well, it looks like it’s git the jackpot.

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Witnessing a temper tantrum oozing from the sticky mouth of a spoiled little whipper-snapper is not only a less than desirable experience, but it also carries enough nerve-bending weight to turn us adults into the Jimmy Hoffa of the local cherry red behind union.

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The socially inept can often suffer from debilitating tremors of shyness and inhibition, while those who grind the gnashing teeth off the full-blooded booze hound often throw caution to the wind and ride the dastardly beast until its legs fall off.

With that philosophy in mind, it appears that alcohol has been a major stepping stone in helping the general public grease the societal walls that in the end have allowed us to get to know each other a little better.

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Most of us have a difficult enough time just getting up in the morning, let alone planning our future goals for the next 33 years. However, a 31-year-old Russian billionaire by the name of Dmitry Itskov is doing just that, as he is currently working with a plethora of scientific minds to develop a way to transfer human consciousness to an artificial form – with a goal of human immortality by 2045.

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